Earlier this week the McDonald’s research and development team has presented an “unbreakable” ice cream machine in a secret meeting for shareholders. Our anonymous source claims that apparently this machine has been patented for some time now, but has only recently become cost effective due to supply chain issues, and a new manufacturing license agreement with Toyota. Yes, that’s correct; Toyota, the Japanese car manufacturer known for their reliability and quality control, will be helping with the manufacture and roll out of these new machines.
Toyota’s new “Friction-less Ice Cream Engine” will see a staggered release over the course of Q4 2024 and Q1 2025, slowly rolling out these cutting edge ice-cream machines. The machine boasts a wholly original design, similar in concept to that of an automatic car transmission, with many baffles and rings floating within a thick oil, or fluid, acting as a barrier between metal parts, and removing friction from the equation.
The engineers behind this device had sustainability in mind. Most components from this ice-cream machine are actually sourced from the Toyota parts bin, meaning that the new C602 friction-less ice-cream machine will be around 75% parts compatible with the new generation of Toyota Corolla.
“The ice-cream game is changing, and the competition is about to get left behind” claimed our source
“they had the same guys from Toyota’s F1 team design this thing. They really went all out, using toyo tires brand rubber for all the hoses, cross stitched embroidery on the information tag, and of course Toyota’s classic inclusion of stock factory JBL stereo and speakers.”
Our source continues
“It sure costs a pretty penny for franchise owners, but McDonald’s is offering a very generous 72 month 16% APR financing plan for all franchisees, to help subsidize the cost.”
Maybe, just maybe, as a community of Ice Cream lovers, we can step out of the dark ages into an era of truly on demand frozen sweet treats. Gone will be the days of an unenthusiastic single syllable “Ice cream machine’s broke” out of a scratchy drive-through speaker. Instead, we will cherish the thought of ice cream at any hour, or any day; and hope that the fine people at McDonald’s and Toyota can make this dream come true.
Article by Tomas McMillan
Photo and schematics submitted by anonymous source
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